Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Also!
Make sure to submit something for the HiFlowdown pOmO contest! The winner gets to be Kate for a day!
The Gayest Thing
I was at Publix, and I saw this really buff guy in a tight silk shirt. He had a really expensive looking haircut, nice sunglasses, a fake tan, and his hair bounced slightly as he walked.
While he walked past me and down the aisle, he also passed a fucking sailor----white hat, bell bottoms, and all! right there at Publix!---who was cartoonishly chewing gum with his mouth open. The sailor looked him up and down for a few seconds with what appeared to be a mixture of disgust and desire, before shaking his head and dismissing the attractive, overly manicured man.
Back to finishing finals!
While he walked past me and down the aisle, he also passed a fucking sailor----white hat, bell bottoms, and all! right there at Publix!---who was cartoonishly chewing gum with his mouth open. The sailor looked him up and down for a few seconds with what appeared to be a mixture of disgust and desire, before shaking his head and dismissing the attractive, overly manicured man.
Back to finishing finals!
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Taco Bell Loaded Nachos
holy shit
This is basically just every ingredient that Taco Bell has in its fridge, thrown into one thing. Plus, it's HUGE. There are even some beans that you don't see until you reach the bottom. and! you can order it with jalapenos. They'd probably pour some Baja Blast over the top if you asked nice enough. I'm really really excited.
UPDATE: I had another one of these, and it tasted like one or more ingredients (the shell maybe?) were rotten. Loaded Nachos, you flew too near the sun.
I just posted about Jandek . . .
but it showed up down the page under "Tuesday" because that's when I started writing the article. You guys should read it. It's good, I swear!
What's Wrong With Slate?
These guys seriously need an election to write about again. Seriously. They have no idea what to say about Barack Obama, and they're too caught up on trying to be funny to think of anything. This is a little better than the "Barack Obama should pick really smart people to be on his cabinet" article from right after the election, but they're still flaudering. I'm just saying.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
woah, where was I when this happened?
So, my extended family just discovered the Internet, I guess. They all just got myspace and facebook, and they send me chain emails all the time now. I don't know who told them about the Internet, but I'll have to find out-----so that I can thank that person properly. Anyway, it gives me a chance to keep up with some of the weirder people that I'm related to, which is generally pretty funny. They've been passing along one of those "answer these 20 questions!" emails to each other for about a week, and, I have to say, what I've found out about them is troubling.
What's the one thing we all have in common? Wait, seriously? You've ALL watched someone DIE? What did I miss? What kinds of stuff did you guys all go out and do before I was born?
Also:
I give up.
() Gone on a blind date
(x) Watched someone die
(x) Been to Canada
() Been to Mexico
(x) Been to Florida
() Been on a plane
(X) Been lost
() Been on the opposite side of the country
() Gone on a blind date
(x) Watched someone die
() Been to Canada
() Been to Mexico
(x) Been to Florida
(X) Been on a plane
(X) Been lost
(x) Been on the opposite side of the country
(x ) Gone on a blind date
( x ) Watched someone die
( X) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
( ) Been to Florida
(X ) Been on a plane
( X ) Been lost
( x) Been on the opposite side of the country
( ) Gone on a blind date
(x) Watched someone die
(X) Been to Canada
(x ) Been to Mexico
(x ) Been to Florida
(X ) Been on a plane
(X) Been lost
(x) Been on the opposite side of the country
What's the one thing we all have in common? Wait, seriously? You've ALL watched someone DIE? What did I miss? What kinds of stuff did you guys all go out and do before I was born?
Also:
25. Favorite smell? newborn babies
I give up.
I'll take your nothing, and infuse it with my LOVE
So, I didn't get to take any pictures of Jandek on Monday. -I- should have expected it, I guess. Since he can be a bit camera shy.
Anyway, the show was great. Basically, for those of you who don't know, Jandek is a man who doesn't exist. He's put out, like, 50+ records since the late 70's, and, until 2004, no one had ever even seen his face. People have done a little bit of looking into the financial records of his record company, Corwood Industries (they only put out Jandek records, btw), and have found that his real name is probably Sterling Something-or-other, but it's never been confirmed. He only recently started playing live shows, and they're generally one-offs that, I can tell you from personal experience, no one shows up to.
Generally, his music is recorded solo (although he's done collaborations before), and bears a passing resemblance to country or folk. Really though, it's utterly alien, inaccessible, and possibly unenjoyable. It's a big aesthetic lump, with no entry point and no relation to culture at large. These records are around, but they have no signature, event, nor context. There's no author, and no regard for the audience. One gets the distinct impression, in fact, that these albums would continue to be recorded whether or not any one were listening.
......Going into the show with these expectations, I wasn't prepared for what I saw. My friend and I had just finished making the three and a half hour drive from Sarasota to Gainesville, passing the world's largest Confederate flag on the way there (awesome). We left early, and stopped for pizza in what I believe to be Marion County. Really, I didn't know where I was, and I'm not entirely convinced that Marion County isn't more of a mimetic tendency than a physical place. Everyone in that pizza place looked exactly the same---I'm serious, it was weird.
Anyway, there were maybe, MAYBE, 35 people at this show. There was no pre-show playlist, and Jandek didn't come out until about 45 minutes after we got there, so there was a lot of time to sit in silence and think about how miserable I wanted Jandek to make me. When he finally came out, he never acknowledged the audience, never looked at anyone but the guitar player, and, for the entire two hours that he played, he never said a word that wasn't sung. After his set, however, while he had his back to the crowd, he did allow himself a fleeting half smile. He'd earned it.
But yeah, the music itself was entirely different than what I'd expected. Jandek played bass, while a guitarist and drummer played really clean, compentant psych/kraut rock. It was really beautiful actually, and really accessible on a certain level. He's clearly expanding his Jandek idea, by framing it differently, and smashing the only framework we had to understand his work (inaccessibility). The results were incredibly rewarding, and indicative of a musician that is moving forward. Also, and this is just guess work, but my friend could see the set list, and it looked as if the whole set was meant to be understood as one big, very planned, composition. This would lead me to believe that the more "musical" things being played by the other musicians were probably written, at least partially, by Jandek himself---indicating some very serious traditionally musical talent.
I've declared my intentions to talk more about the dark corners of pop culture on this blog, but I feel that I needed to make an exception here. Sometimes I want to talk about someone who's working outside of a pop framework entirely, although maintaining a certain artifice of identity. I think it mirrors my own dissolution as a person in the face of multiplicity, but for opposite reasons. I won't get into it, just because I don't think it would make for fun reading, but I do want to justify my departure from pop. Also, this concert was totally good.
----This weekend, I'm going to Art Basel---to witness a moment when art is foricibly turned into pop. Should be good, but don't expect any pictures from that either. I'm pretty sure it's not allowed.
Anyway, the show was great. Basically, for those of you who don't know, Jandek is a man who doesn't exist. He's put out, like, 50+ records since the late 70's, and, until 2004, no one had ever even seen his face. People have done a little bit of looking into the financial records of his record company, Corwood Industries (they only put out Jandek records, btw), and have found that his real name is probably Sterling Something-or-other, but it's never been confirmed. He only recently started playing live shows, and they're generally one-offs that, I can tell you from personal experience, no one shows up to.
Generally, his music is recorded solo (although he's done collaborations before), and bears a passing resemblance to country or folk. Really though, it's utterly alien, inaccessible, and possibly unenjoyable. It's a big aesthetic lump, with no entry point and no relation to culture at large. These records are around, but they have no signature, event, nor context. There's no author, and no regard for the audience. One gets the distinct impression, in fact, that these albums would continue to be recorded whether or not any one were listening.
......Going into the show with these expectations, I wasn't prepared for what I saw. My friend and I had just finished making the three and a half hour drive from Sarasota to Gainesville, passing the world's largest Confederate flag on the way there (awesome). We left early, and stopped for pizza in what I believe to be Marion County. Really, I didn't know where I was, and I'm not entirely convinced that Marion County isn't more of a mimetic tendency than a physical place. Everyone in that pizza place looked exactly the same---I'm serious, it was weird.
Anyway, there were maybe, MAYBE, 35 people at this show. There was no pre-show playlist, and Jandek didn't come out until about 45 minutes after we got there, so there was a lot of time to sit in silence and think about how miserable I wanted Jandek to make me. When he finally came out, he never acknowledged the audience, never looked at anyone but the guitar player, and, for the entire two hours that he played, he never said a word that wasn't sung. After his set, however, while he had his back to the crowd, he did allow himself a fleeting half smile. He'd earned it.
But yeah, the music itself was entirely different than what I'd expected. Jandek played bass, while a guitarist and drummer played really clean, compentant psych/kraut rock. It was really beautiful actually, and really accessible on a certain level. He's clearly expanding his Jandek idea, by framing it differently, and smashing the only framework we had to understand his work (inaccessibility). The results were incredibly rewarding, and indicative of a musician that is moving forward. Also, and this is just guess work, but my friend could see the set list, and it looked as if the whole set was meant to be understood as one big, very planned, composition. This would lead me to believe that the more "musical" things being played by the other musicians were probably written, at least partially, by Jandek himself---indicating some very serious traditionally musical talent.
I've declared my intentions to talk more about the dark corners of pop culture on this blog, but I feel that I needed to make an exception here. Sometimes I want to talk about someone who's working outside of a pop framework entirely, although maintaining a certain artifice of identity. I think it mirrors my own dissolution as a person in the face of multiplicity, but for opposite reasons. I won't get into it, just because I don't think it would make for fun reading, but I do want to justify my departure from pop. Also, this concert was totally good.
----This weekend, I'm going to Art Basel---to witness a moment when art is foricibly turned into pop. Should be good, but don't expect any pictures from that either. I'm pretty sure it's not allowed.
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